Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband’s car?

A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.”

A blonde and a brunette are driving down the highway in a convertible. The brunette knows that she’s speeding so she asks the blonde if there’s a cop behind them.

The blonde looks behind her and sees a cop and tells the brunette. The brunette then asks if his he’s got his lights on. The blonde replies “Yes… No… Yes… No… Yes… No”

There was a blond guy in a bar one night who got really drunk, I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face.

Shocked, the nun felt her knees go beneath her but before she could do or say anything he punched her again. This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the bum, then he picked her up and threw her into a wall.

By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn’t move very much. Then he stumbled over to her, put his face right next to hers and said…

“Not very strong tonight, are you Batman?”

A Policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver’s license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver’s license, he asks for registration.

Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, “It’s that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment.”

“Ah,” she says as she bends over to get it. While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer unzips his pants and pulls his cock out.

Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up. A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, “Oh, no! Not another breathalizer test!”

Jim and Blonde Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank like a stone to the bottom and stayed there. Blonde Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

The medical director became aware of Blonde Mary’s heroic act and he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell her the news, he said,: - “Blonde Mary, I have good news & bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged because you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, so I believe you’ve regained your senses. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with the belt of his robe. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”

Blonde Mary replied,: - “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry.”