Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?

A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters “UFO” were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft. As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock, his young blonde attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and waved to the two aliens as they took off.

“Do you realize what just happened?” the station owner finally uttered.

“Yeah,” said the blonde attendant. “So?”

“Didn’t you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!”

“Yeah,” repeated the blonde attendant. “So?”

“Didn’t you see the letters ‘UFO’ on the side of that vehicle?!”

“Yeah,” repeated the blonde attendant. “So?”

“Don’t you know what ‘UFO’ means?!” The blonde attendant rolled his eyes.

“Good grief, boss! I’ve been working here for six years. Of course I know what ‘UFO’ means - ‘Unleaded Fuel Only.’”

Q: What does XXX stand for in a porno film?

A: It’s the signature of the three blondes who act in it.

A blonde pilot decided she wanted to learn how to fly a helicopter.She went to the airport, but the only one available was a solo-helicopter.

The Instructor figured he could let her go up alone since she was already a pilot for small planes and he could instruct her via radio.

So up the blonde went.

She reached 1,000 feet and everything was going smoothly. She reached 2,000 feet.

The blonde and the Instructor kept talking via radio.

Everything was running smoothly.

At 3,000 feet the helicopter suddenly came down quickly! It skimmed the top of some trees and crash landed in the woods.

The Instructor jumped into his jeep and rushed out to see if the blonde was okay.

As he reached the edge of the woods, the blonde was walking out.

“What happened?” the Instructor asked. “All was going so well until you reached 3,000 feet. What happened then?”

“Well,” began the blonde, “I got cold. So I turned off the big fan.”

The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her interests so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?”

The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”

Q: Why don’t blondes have elevator jobs?

A: They don’t know the route.