A blonde tourist from the UK was on board a small two seat airplane with a gent she had met in Punta Gorda.

They were flying down the coast to Naples when the pilot entertained the thought of introducing her to the mile high club.

But before he could get anywhere he suffered a heart attack and passed out. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabbed the radio, turned on the mike and screamed, “Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just had a heart attack!”

Ground control heard her call for help and radioed back: “Don´t worry, madam. we´ll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position”

“I´m 5″6´ and sitting in the front seat on the pilot´s lap.”

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband’s car?

A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

What’s the difference between a rooster and a blonde?

Rooster says cock-le-dood-le-doo…

Blonde says any-cock-le-doo…

A couple of blondes were driving through Louisiana when they came to a sign that told them they were almost to Natchitoches. They argued all the way there about how to pronounce the name of the town. Finally they stopped for lunch. After getting their food, one of the blondes said to the cashier, “Can you settle an argument for us? Very slowly, tell us where we are.”

The cashier leaned over the counter and said:

“Buuurrrrrr-Gerrrrrr Kiiiinnnnnggg”

A blonde executive was driving by a field one day when she saw a blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a dirt field.

She drove over to her and said, “It’s idiots like you that give blondes a bad name, and if I could swim I would come over there and kick your ass!”

There was a blonde and a brunette in an elevator. On their way down, they stop to pick up another person also on their way down. When the person got on, the girls noticed that he was pretty cute. Unfortunately he had dandruff. Finally, on the way off of the elevator the two girls let the guy go ahead of them.

The brunette turns to the blonde and says “Oh my god! We need to give him Head and Shoulders.”

The blonde then replies “That’s a pretty good idea, but how are we going to give him shoulders?”