A blonde tourist from the UK was on board a small two seat airplane with a gent she had met in Punta Gorda.

They were flying down the coast to Naples when the pilot entertained the thought of introducing her to the mile high club.

But before he could get anywhere he suffered a heart attack and passed out. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabbed the radio, turned on the mike and screamed, “Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just had a heart attack!”

Ground control heard her call for help and radioed back: “Don´t worry, madam. we´ll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position”

“I´m 5″6´ and sitting in the front seat on the pilot´s lap.”

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?

A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

What’s the difference between a rooster and a blonde?

Rooster says cock-le-dood-le-doo…

Blonde says any-cock-le-doo…

There was a blonde and a brunette in an elevator. On their way down, they stop to pick up another person also on their way down. When the person got on, the girls noticed that he was pretty cute. Unfortunately he had dandruff. Finally, on the way off of the elevator the two girls let the guy go ahead of them.

The brunette turns to the blonde and says “Oh my god! We need to give him Head and Shoulders.”

The blonde then replies “That’s a pretty good idea, but how are we going to give him shoulders?”

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. The blonde goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. The blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief.

She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it.”

The blonde replies, “Shut up, you’re next!”

What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

“Is it mine?”