A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!” The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!” Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone.

She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.

The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it’s her husband, “Hi honey,” he says. “How do you like your new phone?”

She replies, “I just love it, it’s so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there’s one thing I don’t understand though.”

“What is that, baby?” asks her husband.

“Who did you know I was at Wal-Mart?”

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant.

The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the blonde woman they don’t sell rectum deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.

“I’m sorry”, says the pharmacist, We don’t have any.”

“But I always get it here”, says the blonde.

“Do you have the container it  comes in?” asks the pharmacist.

“YES”, says the blonde, “I’ll go home and get it.”

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her: “This is just at normal stick of underarm deodorant.”

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: “To apply, puch up bottom.”

A blonde goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk “I need to buy some deodorant for my husband.”

“Does he use the ball kind?” inquired the clerk.

“No,” replied the blonde, “The kind for under his arms.”

A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm.

She remembered what her dad had once told her. “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snowplow and follow it.”

Pretty soon a snowplow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.

Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.

She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a snowplow.

The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, so now you can follow me over to K-Mart.”

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn’t serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn’t serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn’t serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, “How in the world do you know I am a blonde?”

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,”That’s not a TV — it’s a microwave!”