A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm.

She remembered what her dad had once told her. “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snowplow and follow it.”

Pretty soon a snowplow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.

Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.

She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a snowplow.

The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, so now you can follow me over to K-Mart.”

The blonde reported for her university final examination, which consisted of questions requiring yes or no answers.

She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration took out her purse, removed a coin and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet… Yes for heads and No for tails.

Within half an hour she was all done, whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out. During the last few minutes, however, she began desperately throwing the coin, muttering and swearing. The moderator, alarmed, approached her and asked what she was doing.

“I finished the exam in half an hour. Now I’m rechecking my answers.”

Jim and Blonde Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank like a stone to the bottom and stayed there. Blonde Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

The medical director became aware of Blonde Mary’s heroic act and he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell her the news, he said,: - “Blonde Mary, I have good news & bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged because you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, so I believe you’ve regained your senses. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with the belt of his robe. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”

Blonde Mary replied,: - “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry.”

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.”

She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10, 000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.”

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10, 000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”

A blonde pilot decided she wanted to learn how to fly a helicopter.She went to the airport, but the only one available was a solo-helicopter.

The Instructor figured he could let her go up alone since she was already a pilot for small planes and he could instruct her via radio.

So up the blonde went.

She reached 1,000 feet and everything was going smoothly. She reached 2,000 feet.

The blonde and the Instructor kept talking via radio.

Everything was running smoothly.

At 3,000 feet the helicopter suddenly came down quickly! It skimmed the top of some trees and crash landed in the woods.

The Instructor jumped into his jeep and rushed out to see if the blonde was okay.

As he reached the edge of the woods, the blonde was walking out.

“What happened?” the Instructor asked. “All was going so well until you reached 3,000 feet. What happened then?”

“Well,” began the blonde, “I got cold. So I turned off the big fan.”

A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car.

“Did you see their face?” her friends asked when she came back inside.

“No, but it’s okay — I got the license plate number!”