A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here!” and hung up.

The husband said, “Who was that?”

The wife said, “I don’t know, some woman wanting to know ‘if the coast is clear.’”

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone.

She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.

The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it’s her husband, “Hi honey,” he says. “How do you like your new phone?”

She replies, “I just love it, it’s so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there’s one thing I don’t understand though.”

“What is that, baby?” asks her husband.

“Who did you know I was at Wal-Mart?”

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant.

The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the blonde woman they don’t sell rectum deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.

“I’m sorry”, says the pharmacist, We don’t have any.”

“But I always get it here”, says the blonde.

“Do you have the container it  comes in?” asks the pharmacist.

“YES”, says the blonde, “I’ll go home and get it.”

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her: “This is just at normal stick of underarm deodorant.”

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: “To apply, puch up bottom.”